Everyone knows conflicts - they are part of life.

However, if conflicts last for a long time or become more and more serious, they can lead to a crisis. Because conflicts often include personal attacks, threaten self-esteem, question one's own identity or important foundations of existence. In this situation, many people are no longer able to resolve their conflicts without outside help.

The easiest way often seems to be to go to court.  

The problem here, however, is that the conflict often escalates. This harms the parties to the conflict and also the people around them. Separated parents who argue in court about contact with their children have a harder time pulling together in the upbringing of their children. Neighbors who argue with lawyers about noise and order can hardly get along afterwards
still look into the eyes.

Mediators help conflicting parties find solutions

to find one that satisfies both sides.

Mediators are in demand where there is still willingness and responsibility
to take over for their own conflict. Even if the solution seems as far away as the horizon! With a structured procedure, they support people and groups in deadlocked situations to find solutions to their conflict. In doing so, they do not take sides for one side, but endeavor to take the perspectives of both conflicting parties into account equally. Sound incredible? But it is not. Research findings show that mediation is often successful and comes to a successful conclusion. Mediators can be found in many fields, for example in the areas of family, inheritance, neighborhood, politics, economy, separation/divorce, church, criminal law (offender-victim mediation) and in intercultural conflicts. Mediation works for couples and for states because this method is based on global principles of human conflict resolution.

Mediation is a structured process that takes place in defined phases.

in one  preliminary talk  are clarified: the suitability of the conflict for mediation, the group of conflict participants to be invited, the costs incurred and other regulations.

In the  opening phase  The mediator creates the necessary framework, explains the procedure and makes agreements on the procedure.

In the  conflict presentation phase  the parties have the space to present their respective points of view. In the case of more complex conflicts, the topics are first collected in this phase and the order in which they are dealt with is determined.

In the  Conflict Illumination Phase  the mediator works with the client to identify common and different backgrounds, needs, interests, goals and desires.

In the  problem solving phase  the parties work out amicable solutions. The mediator supports them with helpful methods.

In the  agreement phase  the solutions are formulated into a written contract. The unification pact is checked again, its implementation and control discussed and finally signed. In case of an eventual  debriefing  at a later point in time, the parties will review the success of the agreement with the mediator.

Learn more.

More information on the method of mediation can be found here:

www.bmev.de  (Homepage of the Federal Association for Mediation/BM)

www.wemediate.de  (association of mediators)

Are you considering training as a mediator yourself? (this is a good idea!)

www.neueoptions.de  (recommended training according to the standards of the Federal Association for Mediation)

A good introductory book on the method:

link to book

An introductory DVD on the subject that I co-produced (book and DVD complement each other):

Link to DVD