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mediation

Everybody experiences conflict - its a part of life.

 

But if conflicts persist or escalate over a longer period of time, they can lead to crisis and destroy relations. Why does this happen? Because conflict often comes with personal attacks that threaten our identity and our feelings of self-worth, thus rocking important foundations of our existence. In such a situation many people feel overwhelmed and are unable to resolve their conflict without external support.

 

 

The simple way out appears to be court resolution.

 

The problem here, however, is that the conflict often escalates. This harms the parties to the conflict and also the people around them. Separated parents who argue in court about contact with their children have a harder time pulling together in the upbringing of their children. Neighbors who argue with lawyers about noise and order can hardly get along afterwards
still look into the eyes.

 

 

Mediators help persons involved in conflict to
find solutions that satisfy both sides
.

 

Mediation can be very helpful in all situations where persons are still prepared to take responsibility for their own conflict. Even if the solution seems as far away as the sky. In a clear and structured mediation process, mediators assist individuals and groups that feel stuck in conflict in finding solutions. During the mediation process they do not take sides, but do everything to take the interests of both sides into account. Does this sound unrealistic? It's not. Research evidence shows that mediation is frequently successful and leads to resolved conflicts. Mediators are found in such diverse contexts as family, inheritance issues, neighborhood, politics, economics, separation and divorce, church, criminal law (victim-offender-mediation) and in intercultural conflict. Mediation works with couples and with states because it is grounded in global principles of human nature.

 

 

Mediation is a structured process with clearly defined steps.

 

In a preliminary conversation we clarify if the conflict is suited for mediation, who needs to participate, which costs are involved and other general requirements.

 

In the opening phase I give general information on the mediation process and the way it works.

 

In the positions phase both sides have equal time to explain their side and view of the conflict.

 

In the interests phase I work with all clients to describe and understand all relevant shared and individual background information, needs, goals and wishes.

 

In the solution phase I use field-tested methods to support all parties in developing mutual settlements.

 

These are documented and agreed on in the settlement phase. Here, we also take time to re-check the agreement, to talk about how to implement and control it, before it is signed by all parties. In many cases it is useful to agree on a follow-up conversation to examine the success of the agreement and to adapt it, if necessary.

 

 

learn more

 

If you speak German, you can find more information on mediation here:

 

www.bmev.de  (Website of the German Association for Mediation)

www.wemediate.de  (my mediation network)

 

For information in English, I suggest you visit the American Arbitration Association homepage:

 

www.adr. org

 

 

 

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